DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS
Domestic violence has plagued many homes since the beginning of time. Sadly for many generations it was an accepted behavior and often the victim was considered to be the reason that it happened. I remember opening my door one day and a girlfriend of mine standing there with her lip split open, her face all bruised and her body aching in so many places I was afraid to even touch her and a voice of an older lady standing behind me saying “what did you do to make him mad at you”? For me this was a turning point…that day I decided that I did not care if my friend never spoke to me again…I was calling the police and reporting the incident. Unfortunately, she did not press charges, although he had threatened her to drown her in a tub of bath water, she also believes that somehow what happened was her fault. All I can do for my friend is to let her know that I am here for her when she is ready and pray that it won’t end with him sending flowers to her funeral.
The problem of domestic violence is complex. It stems from an individual’s lack of self esteem, the acceptance of abusive behavior by others, the lack of involvement of people who are aware, fear, confusion, poverty, I could go on and on.
Imagine a place where every battered individual found the support they needed from coworkers, friends and neighbors. A place where no one accepts excuses for abusive behavior and everyone is committed to being part of the solution. This can be a reality.
In order to put an end to domestic violence, it will take the help of everyone that touches the victim’s life. From their neighbors, teachers, co-workers, clergy, hospital staff, social workers, and the court system. Victims have to feel when they finally get the courage to ask for help it will be there for them, even if there are no visible scars on their body.
Domestic violence is everyone's business. Do you know someone facing domestic violence, or perhaps are you experiencing it yourself. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, share this helpful information with them and if it is you, even if you are not ready to leave have an action plan for yourself and your children.
• Memorize the phone number of the domestic violence hotline in your area
• Tell as many people that you can safely about your situation (SILENT NO MORE)
• Keep other important phone numbers you may need handy in the same safe place
• Establish a code word or sign so friends, family or co-workers will know if you need them to call for help.
• Be aware of your surroundings in your home; try not to get trapped in areas like the bathroom or kitchen
• Think ahead of time - where you would go
• Get an extra car key made and hide it somewhere you will have easy access to
• Always keep money for transportation or the phone (it should if possible be outside of the home but easy to get to
• If you don’t have a cell phone, get one at least that you can make a 911 call to (many organizations provide these free)
• Photocopy all important documents you may need (birth certificates, social security cards, bank account numbers, medical insurance cards, children’s school records, deed or leasing agreements, marriage license, any other papers you feel you might need if you left the home (these should be stored at a safe place – family or neighbors house)
• Have extra clothes for yourself and children and a few toiletries in a small suitcase (these can be left at the home of a friend or family member)
• Make plans for what you will do when you are ready to leave
• Think of how you can protect yourself and your children
Domestic violence is something we can solve if we make it everybody’s business.
Posted By: Belinda Anderson
Thursday, October 2nd 2008 at 7:07PM
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