This will be the first of a two part story....
Believe it or not it's about me and my triumph over domestic violence. My hopes in writing this is to help someone who is experiencing this tragedy which is a part of our society on a daily basis overcome the feelings of worthlessness and self doubt so that she/he to can be a living testimony to someone else if no one but her/his children. Yes it happens to men as well. If it is not of use to you pass it on to someone who it may be. We all know someone who is going through...
"LIVING IN FEAR"
It was the summer of 1990 when I had met and thought I'd fell in love with my abuser who is the biological father of my first two children.
I had been taking care of my brother who was a couple of months old and like my first child which is why I say I have 5 boys. I thought he was perfect, everything I wanted and needed but at the age of 16 we all know what that's like; no long term life standing goals are hardly made and stuck with at such a young age.
The abuse didn't come right in the beginning, it came after the birth of our first child; which was all too soon! I'd gotten pregnant only 3-4 months into the relationship. I was living on the west side of Chicago when the baby was born in February of 1991, he was living on the south side of Chicago. It had only been two weeks since the baby was born when he wanted me to come to his house for a visit with the baby and me, so being young and naive as most 16 year olds are (against my great -grandmothers wishes who felt I should still be in bed resting) I went. When I look back I regret every minute of it.
I remember arguing with him when I was getting ready to leave because he wasn't ready for me to go, but the ride home was about 2 and a half hours long on the bus and then the transfer from one train to another which was underground. It was late and I insisted that I was leaving because I had to go alone. We were walking down the street in the slush and ice that was left behind from the heavy snow earlier in the week. He kept trying to take the baby saying " You can go but my baby's staying here with me." Of course I refused to leave my newborn baby with him in a house full of what I knew to be irresponsible teenage boys who couldn't even take care of themselves, let alone my child. We came to a busy intersection on a street named Stony Island which has 8 lanes 4 in each direction. He once again tried to take the baby and the baby and I almost fell.
That's when it all happened!
He proclaimed that I was trying to hurt "his baby" so while I was trying to regain my balance he hit me in the eye. I had already had a lazy eye and sometimes had trouble focusing, but when he did that I saw stars literally. I was off balance and began to wonder off into the oncoming traffic trying to get away from him. I couldn't believe that he had done such a thing to me "the mother of his child" especially while I was holding the baby in my arms. I started to cry and scream frantically, I was hurt and scared so I did this in order to draw attention. No one stopped to help me, but he finally ran off. I went to the pay phone to call my sisters mother because she lived in the area and while I waited for her to come he kept coming around taunting me. When she arrived she was very upset and I can say would probably have killed him if she had found him.
God's Love makes all things easy,
Faith in God makes all things possible,
God's gift of Friendship makes all things forgivable
God's Blessing of Laughter makes the heart smile
Ta'Nisha G. (Big_Juisee)
Posted By: TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
Friday, October 17th 2008 at 10:04AM
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